As if Doc Rivers and the LA Clippers didn’t have enough to worry about besides trying to win an NBA Championship.
And hello to all who have either been anxiously awaiting my next post, my loyal friend followers of about 20 individuals, and perhaps some new readers from my Twittersphere (whooo 83 followers!). I’ve been looking for a reason to resurrect TwentySomethingWIML, and while so much has happened (2014 Winter Olympics, Korean Ferry sinking, the ongoing 2014 Crimean crisis, etc.) I could not ignore the fact that an old, ugly, and decrepit man (who can still manage to have both a wife AND girlfriend) was a top trending topic all week. It helped that I finally found out how to use Twitter, but that’s another story that I could probably blog about later.
PROFILE: Meet Donald Sterling b.1934
Occupation: Owner of the Los Angeles Clippers in the NBA
Imagine seeing this lovely, leathery face on your Tinder prospects. Well his profile might say something along the lines of “I won’t broadcast that I associate with black people, even when African Americans athletes are working their asses off to earn my team and their city a national title. I won’t even broadcast it even though my girlfriend is half African American. Even when Doc Rivers, one of the most recognized and respected coaches in the league works for my franchise.”
My Thoughts: I’m moved to both anger and sadness. Anger for the obvious reasons; I strongly disapprove of bigotry and racism on any level, and sadness for the Clippers who publicly showed at Game 4 Sunday against the Golden State Warriors that they denounce Sterling’s ugly comments. LA, a team of talented players from a variety of backgrounds, is now faced with suspended sponsorships, terminated sponsorships, and a major distraction during the most important time of the season.
With an NBA investigation in place, we can only hope that the NBA and commissioner Adam Silver can find a way to get rid of this racist and ugly bigot.
But, I decided to compile a list of punishments that I would recommend:
1. Cover the floor of Staples Center with the sharpest of Lego pieces. Make him do suicides barefoot.
2. Give him perpetual papercuts in the wrinkly, old webbings between his fingers.
3. Make him take a selfie with every African American NBA player.
4. Force him to only take the coldest of showers for the rest of his life.
5. Make him walk on cobblestone in heels for hours.
6. Hit him in the funny bone, over and over again.
7. Lock him in with the Hippos at the Los Angeles Zoo. I mean he is starting to look like one.
8. While at the Zoo, he can become the Zoo pooper scooper. Make him sleep in it.
9. Twilight movies on repeat.
10. Baseball pitches to the groin, thrown by African American baseball pitchers.
11. Forced licking of all flag poles in below freezing climates.
12. Continuously blow dust and sand into his eyes over and over again.
13. Forced self-inflicted toe stubbing.
14. Force him to stare into the sun for hours at a time.
15. Make him sit on hot leather car seats without pants. After an hour make him stand up and experience the awful pain of the seat peeling from your bare legs. Repeat.
Feel Free to comment and add to this list. Maybe Adam Silver will get some ideas!
Twenty Something... What is my Life? 